Today I am sharing on a topic that has been a major focus point of my life's-work for well over a decade(long before I began guiding others). Through endless experimentation and testing, resulting in oceans of mistakes & discoveries, It feels very necessary to share some of these discoveries with you, in the hopes that it can continue to shift the narrative further out of slumber, and into an empowered awareness.

I will be speaking frankly. 

I invite you to experiment with what resonates, peaks, or triggers things in you. I also invite you to not believe a single word I say - and instead strive to clarify what is most true for you, through embodied experimentation. Your mind knows very little of anything. Bring it to the body. This is my invitation.

Let’s begin.

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In my experience of tracking energies and elements within - S€xual/orgasmic energy is water. Generally, it is expressed on the surface as an outward moving fire - but a fire which is powered by having its roots deeply steeped in water, in an abundance of yin ki. In juice.

Orgasmic energy, and how it writhes through the body -  is water-based. As a society hellbent on the expression of fire, most men(and women) find it very challenging to dance with their s€xual energy in any way other than it being a dispersive experience. Which is fine if that's where you are currently at. But there is another experience that runs all the way back to the depths of your soul.

Men who never receive embodied, intelligent, and loving guidance on how he functions internally, can become highly governed and controlled by his s€xual energy once it begins to build-up and accumulate. He tends to be blinded by the fire while avoiding the wisdom of his water.(which calls him to listen/feel)

Rather than reverently embodying the full experience as an invitation for it to teach him - he is brainwashed into chasing its quick release - so he can come back to feeling ‘calm’(unconscious and flaccid) again. This is not his fault. As men, we have been perverted, distorted, and disempowered in relation to our s€x.

There is another way...and it is ROYAL on every level.

To go a little deeper - If a man cannot capacitate to the accumulation and build-up of his own water, he will never be able to fully support and ride her orgasmic waves with her. Nor will he cultivate the opportunity to taste the exquisiteness of that which she has to share with him, from being fully met in her depth. 

Nor will he be able to maintain/sustain the burning ferocity of his fires flame. He will burn-out, disintegrate, and dry-up over time. Theres only so long one can avoid the juice until it completely disappears. This is even more important for women, as she is the most physical representation of yin essence manifested.

The internal process of balancing fire and water is what this is all about.

For a man, becoming skilled and proficient in his internal alchemy offers the gift of empowered choice. Where he gets to choose what is most aligned within this intimate experience (whether that is release or accumulation).

Developing energetic proficiency through deep embodiment and knowing thyself, also allows him to make love for as long as feels aligned, without ever disconnecting or leaving her. Instead, traveling with her into the depths of orgasmicness and love. Which is a never-ending journey of ebb and flow. In and out. Up and down. Nothing and everything. The fire, and the water. It becomes an integrated meditation of love & fuck.

Many men tend to be overwhelmed into ejaculation far sooner than is necessary for him to truly connect and merge with his beloved. Especially given the nature of her heart and cervix communication - which generally requires deep/prolonged penetration & loving contact to begin feeling safe enough to unfurl, activate and bloom. 

For this reason, he can end up missing a certain depth of love, which is continuously sitting there, untouched. Because of this, she can also feel continuously undermet and dropped in s€x.

What I'm sharing above is a very deep piece for most men, and an area of practice which unfortunately is not always communicated or taught from a place of health and embodied understanding. I have had many men come to me over the years who have been practicing ‘semen retention’ in a way which has damaged them physically, while also disconnecting them from their partner and/or the joy in s€x.

Much of the most common/well-known information and teaching sources out there on the topic are not safe. They are ancient principles which have been bastardized, re-packaged and systemized - which means that so much of the nuanced wisdom which gently emerged through years of diligent listening and feeling has been lost in its translation. This nuance and wisdom is what allowed the practical techniques to remain safe in a mans being. Without this deeply seasoned foundation, the practical just adds further tension, bracing & disconnection to an already unsettled system. Please be discerning and listen to your body.

Its also been fascinating to hear the experiences of women who are with men practicing retention. Of course there are many beautiful experiences which are expressed. But a very common narrative I hear is that some men are ‘microcosmic orbit-ing’ themselves all the way out of the bedroom, and disconnecting from her completely.

This is the most frequent issue I hear from women - that his practice has more of his presence than she does. Where he is using it to move further away from her, rather than closer to her.

This is simply an avoidant fear response in him, where he is using a practice disguised as ‘empowering’ to avoid feeling and connecting with the very essence which moves, heals, and TERRIFIES him more than anything else in this life. Femininity & eros for us as men can be TERRIFYING. This is why men have historically seeked to control. We fear the vulnerability & desire which arises when we come into contact with the very essence which has created us. 

Men carry many wounds and trauma patterns which are directly related to women(the mother) and feminine expression. He has an innate inner longing and desire to bathe in her love, softness and care; to come back home to his heart through the mother essence she carries. Whilst also being terrified in case he is not enough for her. It can be a deep point of conflict.

From this conflict, a man tends to go one of 2 ways: the nice/appeasing/spineless guy route, led by his feelings. Or the over-compensating bad boy type who seeks to control, dominate and take, often running from his feelings.

This is a repeated pattern I have seen in thousands of men over the past decade of assisting. It has also been a large part of my own initiation work. Bringing awareness & guidance to this area is the only way I have ever seen a man mature and develop in a sovereign/integrated/healthy way.

This may seem somewhat off-topic from ‘semen retention’ - but I assure you it is deeply connected at its foundational core, and one of the main reasons why men can experience deep challenges within his internal alchemy journey. This, as always, is a gift.

In practical terms, I have a lot of free information out there which is hopefully shifting some of the rigid/heady ways of approaching this very nuanced and delicate topic. I am also very happy to hear many of my past students (who are men’s coaches themselves) sharing this healthier practical information with their students and clients.

S€xual alchemy is an area I will continue to speak about, as it impacts and influences every other area of a man's life, and supports him in burning-up and dissolving the disempowering narratives which he has been programmed with. 

S€xual energy can burn your house down, or it can burn your conditioning down - choose how you utilize its potency.

I am forever grateful for my own choppy and messy experience in figuring this out within myself. It has been one of my most confronting, confusing and ultimately empowering journeys.

If you would like to go deeper, I have a 3+ hour workshop replay on my website on this exact topic. I will also be holding an upcoming online workshop on this topic, going deeper into the nuances of internal alchemy. Deeper than I have ever shared before.

As a side note: Another topic I will be going much deeper into will be the transformative frequencies that resides in a woman's breasts, and how this area of her being is a vital portal of love, healing, meaning, orgasmicness and aliveness (which for most modern women remains completely shut down.)

In conclusion; Men - I invite you to go inside your own being and begin to locate the water in you. Notice your relationship with her as she wells up.

Sense her.

Know her.

The same for your beautiful and illuminating fire & thrust. Can you sense where they both meet? How these 2 elements in you are in their own dance of love and fuck.

Until next time,

Much love.

C